Self Discovery

So, I finally realized something about myself the other day. It's strange, really, how we're always learning new things about ourselves. It's odd that it has taken me so long to realize this...

I'm an emotional eater and an emotional shopper!

How can it be? It seems that I've always sort of turned my nose up when I hear someone say that they are an emotional eater. Not because I think I'm better than they are because I'm not and I don't. It's just a strange thing...to be an emotional eater. I've always wondered how anyone felt like eating when they're all depressed or upset. Obviously, I've been doing it all along and never really realizing it.

I had started to recognize a trend lately - that when I didn't feel good or was upset that I always reached for a candy bar or something...or wanted to go shopping because I deserved something nice because "I don't feel good". But it was all confirmed yesterday and then again today.

I haven't felt especially good this week. It's not really unusual for me to feel bad but I just felt really bad yesterday. On my way home from work yesterday I decided to stop into Hobby Lobby because I needed a 10" embroidery hoop. I didn't really feel like it, but I figured it would be a quick trip and it was best to just get it over with. I looked all over for a plastic 10" but couldn't seem to find one so I settled for a wooden one. I had a 40% off coupon I was going to use towards my purchase but when I realized that the hoop was only a $1.29 I felt pretty ridiculous using the coupon so I decided to shop the aisles for something "I just had to have" to use my coupon on. Silly me, who wants to waste a 40% of coupon on a $1.29 hoop...(Like it was the last 40% off coupon in the whole world). So, I looked around until I found a book I really wanted "The Color Book of Felted Crochet". I walked around the store with the book in my hand for about 30 minutes trying to decide if it was really worth it. I already have a list a mile long of projects that I hope to get to soon and then to add all these super cool felted patterns!!! Come on...I eventually decided to get it because 'I didn't feel good' and this book, this very book I held in my hand, was going to have the answers to all of my physical aliments.....right! But I bought it anyway. It was a good buy and I couldn't pass it up. Originally, it was $19.99 but I ended up getting the book and my hoop for about $14.00. I guess in a way it did help me feel better at least for a little while. It got my mind off things.
Then this morning I had a doctors appointment. I've never been to this doctor before, nor have I had this particular procedure done so I was stressing out just a bit. Immediately following my doctors appointment and against my very best judgement I stopped by Bojangles and got one of their fried sweet potato pies. OH- MY- GOODNESS!! Those things are ridiculously good. I did stop myself after about 3 bites because I wanted to share the rest with hubby. He's never had one before. If I would have stopped there I would have done really good, but as you guessed...I didn't stop there. I then drove to Starbucks. I pretended for awhile to be interested in their herbal teas, but all along knew that one of their signature hot chocolates would win out. I bought a Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate. OH- MY- GOODNESS!!! I swear those things are so good it'll make you smack your momma. Anyway, I drank it all...hubby's tried it before and this one was all mine.
Anyway, I felt like crap all day after starting out my morning with so much fat, caffeine, grease, and chocolate, but at least for that moment in time...I was comforted.