Monday, Sept. 15th

My husband and I are asleep in the bed when suddenly I am awakened by a ringing phone. I glance over at the clock and it's only 5:00 am. Immediately I think "Uh oh" and sit up in bed. It's one of those things that I think is the exact same for every one out there. You know something is wrong if someone is calling that early. I start thinking of who this call may be concerning. I answer it. When I heard my mother-in-laws voice I knew exactly. She asked to speak to my husband so I wake him up and hand him the phone. I think my heart stopped beating, maybe I stopped breathing. All I heard him say was "Uh huh, uh huh.....Uh huh, uh huh. Okay. Bye" and he hands me the phone and lays back down. I ask him "What???? What is it????" He responded "Annette was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night because she was having trouble breathing." And just like that we both dozed back off to sleep.

I only slept for 15-20 minutes then got up and started to get ready for work. When I woke my husband up later he asked if we received a phone call about Annette or if he had dreamed it all. I told him that indeed we had received a phone call. Then having his fears validated he says "They said she's not doing well and don't know if she'll make it. The family is going to the hospital." I was so frustrated! How could he forget this vital piece of information?? He apologized and explained that he really thought he was dreaming it all. I decided that I would stop by the hospital on my way in to work. I guess at this point it was about 6:15am.

....Annette. Annette is my husbands aunt and a good friend of mine. She's 37 years old. She has a son that's 16 and has been married to her husband for about 16 years. Do the math and she basically got pregnant on the honeymoon :-) or very soon after. She loves her family. That's for sure. Annette found a lump in breast 5 years ago and was diagnosed with breast cancer. Soon after finding the lump they removed it and she went through a few rounds of radiation. She was a survivor. That is, until she went in for a routine mammogram. She told the technician that she was in a lot of pain but of course the technician said that it was normal. She suggested that Annette just go home and take some Advil. She did but it didn't seem to help so she went to her doctor. Her doctor found that a staple from her previous surgery had come loose and was causing the pain. The doctor removed it and after testing it found cancer cells attached. They scheduled Annette for a masectomy, not a double masectomy, just the one breast. Annette had the breast removed and had once again survived. That is, until she went in for a routine check up. I don't know all the specifics but one test led to another and they found that Annette's cancer had returned. This time it was in her chest cavity and in her lungs....and the doctor seemed to be throwing the word 'terminal' around. She was started on aggressive rounds of chemo and radiation. At one time just radiation. Then just chemo. Then there were times she was on both. Chemo pills...liquid chemo...this and that...experimental...Who knows? She tried it all. In May she was admitted to the hospital for trouble breathing. They found that one lung was entirely filled with tumors, the other lung was partially filled. Her airway was being filled by tumors and they found a small tumor in her heart. Things weren't looking good at all and they planned to put a stint in her airway to help her breath easier. The doctor gave her 1 month to live. After a few days of radiation the tumors began to shrink and the doctors decided that they wouldn't need to put the stint in afterall. Weak and nauseated, but very determined Annette left the hospital and a week or two later went on a Caribbean cruise...something she always wanted to do. Recently though Annette has just seemed to get weaker but has still been fighting like the dickens. The doctor said there was nothing more that they could do because the chemo was no longer shrinking the cancer and she was too weak for anything stronger. He gave her (now) 6 months to live. But still her faith and our faith was in the Lord...


At 6:45 I'm dressed and gathering my things. As I'm about to head out the door the phone rings...I stop and I KNOW. My husband answers and I hear him say "Okay". Then he hangs up. He tells me that Annette had passed away.

Her funeral was last Thursday and honestly, it was probably the nicest funeral I've ever been too. The pastor couldn't have been more right about Annette in everything he said. She lived her life beautifully so only good things could be said about her at her funeral. I think death is always a time of reflection...for everyone. We're reminded about how fragile and uncertain life is. The Bible says "Life is like a vapour that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." (James 4:13)

I miss Annette and I imagine I'll miss her more in the months to come. I'll miss her even more at the holidays with all the family get togethers. One thing I've noticed though the older I get and more mature I become in my Christian walk is that God has given me a peace about death. I'll never be entirely okay with death. I don't think anyone will but I've become more accepting of it over the years...less bitter towards it and less fighting with it. When God calls someone home there is nothing that I can do about it...not matter how much fighting or grieving I do, and there is nothing that anyone else can do about it. I know that Annette is in a much better place as cliche' as that sounds. I can grieve for my loss. I can grieve for her sons loss and her husbands loss, but I can't grieve for Annette. One thing that has put a smile on my face is picturing her in heaven. The Bible says we're given a new body in heaven so I can see Annette filled with all her energy again, talkative, inquisitive, bubbly, and full of life. I can imagine her trying to help Jesus plan the menu for the next feast or asking if she can paint the walls in her brand new mansion.

At the funeral the pastor put it wonderfully-he said when friends or family members die we shouldn't see it as a withdrawal from our life but rather a deposit into heaven.

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Thanks for allowing me to share Annette's story with you.